Feeling attached to my dad's cat. Struggling with worry and sadness!

Cats Forum
1

My dad is in the hospital recovering from a procedure. It couldn’t have come at a worse time since he was supposed to move. I flew in to help organize this for him.

Part of what needed to be done was moving his cat, arranging a pet sitter for when I left, and making sure everything was set for when he comes home. He might not be home for a while and may have to stay at a nursing home to regain strength.

Anyway, I hired a reliable pet sitter to visit several times a week for wet food (I got an automatic feeder for dry food), playtime, brushing, nail trimming, and more.

I was there for about 5 days, and I got so attached to this cat. His name is Bubba, and he’s had a rough time. My dad’s memory issues left his old place in a mess. The cat even rubbed his face raw from an allergic reaction to food my brother picked up while checking in before I arrived. I took care of Bubba while I was there, and now that I’m back home, I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s safe, has plenty of toys, beds, food and water, and medicine for his skin that the sitter will use. I left a radio on for soft background noise between sitter visits.

I don’t know. I feel so anxious and sad. I miss him. I’m home with my own three cats, but I just feel unhappy. It hurts to think about him being alone most of the time for possibly weeks. I wanted to take him home with me, but it wasn’t practical. I already shouldn’t have my third cat, let alone a fourth. Plus, it would be stressful for all the cats involved. My dad is doing okay, but we might have to consider assisted living soon.

Anyway, am I going crazy? I’m happy to see my own kitties, but they are well cared for, and my fiancé is always there for them. Still, my mind keeps going back to Bubba, and I feel like crying.

2

Bubba is lucky to have you taking care of him. You’ve done everything possible to make sure he’s safe and comfortable. It’s totally okay to feel attached, especially after all you’ve done. Try not to stress too much—he’s in good hands now. Maybe check in with the sitter once in a while to ease your mind. Bubba’s going to be fine, and you’re doing a great job.

3

Why not bring Bubba home with you until your dad is more stable? Three or four cats is not that big of a difference.

I’m a mom to 11 cats. I added 5 kittens to the 6 I already had in August. They needed a home badly, and I’m glad I have them. They’ve gotten along well with the older ones.

4

@Ariel
Leaving him there felt so wrong. I’m trying to learn more about the plan for my dad from the hospital case manager overseeing his care. He may need a home health aide, but if this goes on for a while… I’m considering going back for Bubba soon. I just need to know what’s going to happen before I book a flight. I worry I won’t want to let him go back to my dad, who shouldn’t really have a pet given his mental state. But Bubba has been his companion for 12 years, and taking him away would be heartbreaking. I have so many mixed feelings right now, but Bubba’s well-being should come first, even if it means dealing with my own emotions.

5

@Rio
Your dad would want you to make sure his cat is taken care of, whether he’s at the hospital or a recovery center. It would give him peace if he’s in a clear state of mind. If he moves to an independent living place, some will accept small pets.

Think about bringing Bubba home. If you can get a Litter Robot, it will make caring for four cats easier. Bring whatever supplies Bubba had at your dad’s place, and if you can drive, pack up his favorite toys and beds.

This way, your dad can know Bubba is safe, and it will help you find some peace too.

If your fiancé is the right person, he’ll understand what you’re going through and support you in this tough time.

6

@Rio
If you can make it work, you should bring Bubba home. Since your dad’s situation could go on for a while, it might be better for Bubba to have more constant care instead of waiting for the sitter. The sitter might not be emotionally connected to him, so having you around could be better for his comfort. Don’t worry about returning him until you know more about your dad’s future plans (if he needs a facility or not).

You’re not taking him away from your dad. You’re giving Bubba the care and attention he needs during this uncertain time. He doesn’t understand why his human isn’t there anymore, so having you around could make all the difference.

7

@Rio
If your dad can’t take care of Bubba, you should keep him even if that means having four cats.

8

It’s normal to worry when you’re not with a pet you care about, but remember Bubba is in good hands.

9

I think that’s normal for cat lovers. I had a similar experience when my neighbor neglected his cat, so I took care of her. I found out she was deaf after a month. He didn’t know. I fed her, treated her infected ears, brushed her (long-haired black cat) and more. I even brought her in during late parties where people drove recklessly. I always worried about her. I got really attached. I was thinking about keeping her full-time with my other three cats or adopting her.

One night when I was out of town, her owner ran her over. It still bothers me, and sometimes I wonder if it was on purpose. I promised myself if he got another cat, I’d take it.

So yes, it’s normal to worry. Bubba seems to be well taken care of, though. Give it a week, and if you still feel the same way, maybe think about bringing him home!